The Voices of Vice

Once I was interviewed for a This American Life show about people who hear voices — not literally, I told my friends as I explained my brush with radio stardom. But then I listened to the show, and it turned out there were people on it who did literally hear voices, telling them to do all sorts of bad things, like cheat, or binge and purge, or, nevermind AA, have just one drink.

In between them was me, with demons that compel me (to this day) to stay in bed in the morning. I went through a brief period where I thought talking to Nancy Updike had cured me, that my interview had been more like a dial-direct confessional, and I was now free to rise up and walk proudly with people who usually are adding sugar to their third cup of coffee while I’m still hitting snooze.

That was a lie.

Here are some other lies I’ve told myself:

The gym membership is worth it

These pants will fit one day, but they’re only on sale today.

The more you drinks you consume at an open bar, the cheaper that ticket to get in the door really was.

Watching bad ABC TV series is good for me. I’m a writer; I need to expose myself to lots of forms of story….